We Were Doomed From The Start
by forever-snivellus
Summary: The closet at the end of the hall of the Venturi/Mcdonald residence had always been a place where secrets could be shared and stories could be told without unwanted eavesdroppers. Derek and Casey find themselves in the tight room, only to have to hide one more secret by the end of their rendezvous.
1. Chapter 1

Casey Mcdonald was not one to be fooled around with but Truman did just that. Only, it was not like the way her step-brother, Derek, fooled around with her in a joking manner. Truman had played her feelings like an out of tune instrument, the notes sounding sour and unforgiving. Last night's party marked the last straw for Truman's relationship incompetence. He had kissed Vicky—her own cousin!—and had the gall to attempt to convince her it was purely of a platonic nature. Now she was left with a shattered heart and a tear stained pillowcase.

She had spent nearly the whole day beneath her comforter, head and all, peaking her nose out every half hour to get a few breaths of air. Her mascara from the party was still a streaky mess on her cheeks and her fist remained clutched tightly on her pillow in anger, sadness, and disbelief. When she stopped crying, she only needed to remember the way Truman slipped his damned tongue into icky Vicky's mouth before succumbing to the tears.

Her mother and sister had both knocked on her door numerous times throughout the day to ask if she was okay or to tell her they had left a tray of food outside her room. "Don't starve yourself, Case." Lizzie would say outside her door with a worried tone. But she did not want to stomach anything they gave her. Marti slipped a few letters of comfort under her door that Casey appreciated but it only barely had an effect. Even Edwin and George recited several jokes to her which she would have laughed at on a normal day (because of the level of stupidity the joke had) but this time, she could hardly even muster a snort.

Her cellphone had been going off all day, most likely Truman desperately trying to explain himself, but Casey was not going to have any of it. She turned the darn thing off and threw it to down to the carpet by her bed. The only person who had not tried to make any sort of contact with her was Derek.

When night came around, she grew tired from her crying and fell asleep. At almost midnight, she woke up to someone knocking on her door. She assumed it was Lizzie and answered as calmly as she could.

"Yes?"

Much to her surprise, the voice that answered did not belong to Lizzie, but was Derek's.

"I need to talk to you," he said seriously.

"What for?" her voice cracked from lack of use. Before he could answer, she continued, "I don't want to talk about it right now, Derek. I can't. I-"

"It's not about that dufus. It's important. Meet me in the closet in ten." She heard him walk away.

She could now add worried to the array of negative emotions she was already feeling. What could he possibly need to talk about? Her stomach growled loudly as if in response. Refusing food was not going to last forever and perhaps this was an opportune time to nibble at her ice, cold dinner that sat outside her door. Reluctantly, she sat up on her bed, slipped her fuzzy slippers on, and headed for the door.

Derek had always been a someone who would take any chance to act out a silly ruse on her but she knew, from his tone of voice, that this was no laughing matter. Of course he would not think to hurt her further. He was the one, after all, who called Truman out at the party. Out of all people, he was the one who helped her out the most.

In fact, now that she thought about it, none of her boyfriends had done as many good deeds as Derek had done for her. The least she could do for him was to co-operate and meet him in the cramped closet that served as a shelter from nosey siblings. And, she had to admit that during her time of grief, Derek felt like a comfort to talk to. Not Lizzie. Not even her best friend Emily. It was her "good-for-nothing" step-brother she could find herself confiding in. She felt he understood her most for some odd reason.

On her way down the hallway, she had grabbed a dinner roll from the tray to the left of her door and chewed it. She saw a sliver of light from beneath the closet door at the end of the hallway. He must have been waiting for her. After swallowing the last bite of dinner roll, she turned the knob of the closet and walked inside.

Casey carefully positioned herself in front of him. They were so tightly packed inside that her breasts nearly touched his chest. She looked up at his face and his gaze fell upon her own. She remembered that she must have looked a fright. Despite this, Derek withheld any sort of rude comments he could have been thinking of.

"Case, you have a little..." he said as he wiped a crumb off the corner of her mouth with his thumb. His face was so close to hers now and this for some strange reason, made butterflies fly in all different directions in her stomach. She felt extremely uncomfortable.

"Why did you want to talk to me?" she said in a hushed voice, not wanting to rouse the rest of her family. He retreated and took a deep breath.

"I..." he started but paused for several seconds before continuing. "I need to tell you something"

She began to fear what he might say and asked, "Yeah I figured... is it bad?"

"No. Well, maybe. I guess if you look at it a certain way, it's kind of bad ha-ha." he laughed nervously but his lips quickly turned back into a thin, straight line.

"Derek... you know I hate it when people beat around the bush. I think you should get straight to the point. It's worrying me."

He turned away and whispered to himself, "God, you still look pretty even with all that stuff on your face..."

"What?" she asked although the tight space did not allow for his words to escape from earshot. She heard him perfectly fine. Her face grew hot. This must be one of his silly jokes. How could he do this after what happened to her? He was absolutely despicable. "I'm going back to my room. I don't want to hear your sarcasm right now. Leave me alone."

Before she could turn to leave, he grabbed her wrist and pulled her to him as if they were not close enough. Her breasts pressed up against his chest and she swore he could feel her heart beating rapidly. What was going on?

"I couldn't handle seeing you hurt like that." He loosened the grip on her wrist but did not let go. "I didn't think it would drive me crazy this much, but it is. Ha-ha do you hear me? I sound _crazy_. This is crazy..."

"You're scaring me, Derek. Please, just-just tell me what's going on." She tried to back away so that they were not touching but he would only come closer.

"All this time, I told myself I hated you and that you were an annoying grade grubber of a step-sister. Even though you never failed to tick me off, I still helped you. I _wanted_ to help you and I always felt like I needed to. Yeah, yeah maybe it was my brotherly instinct to... but it just never felt that way and I've been confused until..."

"U-Until when?" Casey could not tell where this conversation was going but her mind feared the worst.

"Until last night, at the party. Case, I needed to protect you from that idiot and I finally knew why. I knew why I cared so damn much!" Derek leaned forward and embraced her. "You've been driving me nuts, you know that?"

At this point, Casey did not know how to respond. She struggled to comprehend what he was trying to tell her yet she could not figure out what exactly it was. She blushed immensely and kept her arms at her sides, not returning the hug. Derek was showing way too much brotherly love than he should have been.

"Casey I love you," he said softly into her hair. She was shocked at this sudden declaration—Derek had not once told her he loved her! This must be some sort of Derek doppleganger.

"Derek, you know I love you too. Thanks for being a pretty _decent_ step-brother." She pulled away from him and gave him a sheepish smile but he wore an expression of disappointment on his face.

"No, you don't get it," he said. "I love you Casey. It took me long enough to realize it. I _love _you."

Her stomach did flip flops. Surely he could not mean what she was thinking. No! She was making stupid, ridiculous assumptions. It was completely out of the question and she felt disgusted with herself. Regardless, her cheeks withheld its bright, red blush

"What is family for?" she said, hoping the conversation would end. She was way past her comfort zone and Derek was making her feel extremely awkward.

Derek sighed heavily and grabbed her by the shoulders with a fluid quickness. He pressed his soft lips against hers and her eyes widened in shock. She forced him back and there was a loud thud when he hit the shelves behind him. The room began to spin and her entire face was beet red.

"D-Derek! Have you lost your mind? I'm your sister!" she exclaimed loudly, possibly waking up the whole household, not that she cared.

"_Step_-sister. And I'm in love with you."

Before he could hold her back, she reached for the doorknob and flung the door open, running down and tripping into the hallway. She slammed the door of her bedroom behind her before melting to the floor with hot tears streaming down her face. What she did not notice was Marti standing outside her bedroom door, listening to every word. 


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thanks for all the support! I have a few things to note. I suppose this fic will be AU wherever it is not consistent with the original story line/plot because I literally have not watched the show in years (I did however, watch some of the last episode in order to grab a line Derek had said for this particular chapter). Also AU because I am disregarding the whole Vacation With Derek thing. I apologize for any mistakes here and there—I currently have no beta and I'm a fiend for literary errors.**

As they days leading up to prom and graduation rolled by, Casey forced herself to pretend that her step-brother's confession never occurred. Derek seemed to mirror her actions, never mentioning or bringing it up. She spoke to him as she did before and he returned the usual inconsiderate Derek comment.  
However, she could sense a change in atmosphere whenever they interacted. From the corner of her eye, when he thought she was not looking, she noticed the crestfallen expression he bore on his face. 

She suspected that Derek was going through a hormonal teenager phase and that if she avoided the topic, it would simply disappear. Still, it was something she could not shake off from her own thoughts and there seemed to be no way she could avoid it mentally. It was on her mind for what seemed like every minute of her life and she would find herself on her bed on most days crying till her eyes became sore and puffy. She did this for several reasons—Truman, Derek, and feeling like she was going through the whole thing alone.

How could she possibly tell anyone about her dilemma? It still shocked herself that her own step-brother harboured any sort of romantic feelings for her. It was a love that was forbidden, frowned upon by the society she lived in. She would sometimes consider the fact that there were no blood ties between them but would shake her head in disagreement. She berated herself for even trying to find reasons for it to be "okay".

She wondered why she had never picked up on Derek's feelings. Was she _that_ inept in detecting people's emotions? Had he been dropping hints for years that she simply disregarded? But most of all, she asked herself why he had chosen her out of all people.

She tried to suppress the memory of the kiss into the deepest recesses of her mind and to no avail, the unforgettable image of his eyes shut and his lips pressed against hers was burnt into the back of her eyelids. Her cheeks coloured from embarrassment and from another source she could not fathom to discover.

When prom approached, several new disasters arose. Her dress failed to meet her expectations and her hair had an uncanny resemblance to that of to her next door neighbour's deceased poodle. But there he was again, giving her a helping hand and she felt like she would forever be in his debt. Her hopes were then further lifted when Derek had asked Emily to prom. The phase might have been fading after all, much to her satisfaction.

To top it all off, she had given Truman a second chance to redeem himself, mainly a devious way to show Derek that there was not a chance of him with her. She felt a tinge of guilt but knew it had to be done.

After a successful graduation day, Casey wound up in he kitchen with Derek while the rest of the family had gone out for a few scoops at Baskin Robbins. She felt comfortable and once again almost at equilibrium with her mental state on the situation though it still lingered in the back of her mind. It was 3 weeks since the "closet incident" even happened.

They both mocked each other about their studying in the same university, something she thought would hopefully allow for Derek to have full closure on his step-sister crush due 5to the exposure to many new women. When she had made a joke about meeting "hockey hunks" and frat boys at his future hockey games, Derek grinned broadly.

"Oh no, you are not dating my fraternity brothers!" he said, wagging a finger in front of her face.

She let out a snort but the mood changed instantly when she took in the pained look on Derek's face. He averted his gaze to a bowl of fruit sitting at the end of the kitchen island.

"Derek?"

"I'm forcing myself to stop having feelings for you Casey, but it just isn't working."

Casey's mouth was agape and her heart felt as though it was going to implode in her chest. She was at a loss for words and sat frozen on the chair she claimed habitually every morning for breakfast.

"I did everything I could to get over you. I even let myself watch you dance with that guy! You deserve better Casey. You and I both know it."

He placed his hand on top of hers and in response, she swiftly pulled it back to herself.

"What's wrong with you?" she whispered as she furled her fist on her thigh.

"What? Casey I—"

"Why are you doing this?" she intercepted and tears began to sting her eyes. "Are you trying to tear our family apart? If you're not aware, they've already been torn apart before!" She had been referring to both their parents previous divorces.

Derek stood in silence. This infuriated her further and in a dangerous tone she said, "Come on Derek! You always have something to say. Why can't you say anything now?!"

"Casey just-just calm down, please..." he stretched his hand toward her shoulder. She swatted it away and shot up from her seat, fuming.

"No! W-Why would you do this? Why..." She fell to the linoleum tiles as if her legs suddenly turned to jelly.

He rushed to her, knelt down, and took her in his arms. She did not break away from his embrace but accepted it.

"Y-You were always there for me like no one else," she confessed between sniffles. He stayed quiet and this was a signal for her to continue.

"You're p-practically my best friend, Derek. W-We're polar opposites but that is what makes it so fun and e-enjoyable. I can't lose t-that... I can't lose my best friend and my step-brother... t-this isn't right..."  
Her face was soaked with tears and strands of hair stuck to her moist skin which Derek carefully pushed back to her hairline with his thumb. She grabbed the front of his shirt and cried into it, saturating it with her salty tears.

"I may have royally screwed up," he began, blinking away the tears that started to form in his own eyes. "But I can't stop loving you the way I do, Case. I know it's wrong. It's pretty messed up, I guess. But I can't stop. I've never loved anyone more."

"W-What do you w-want me to do, Derek? I don't know what to do..."

"Give me a chance. I'll show you how good I can be. We don't have to tell anyone... not now, not yet, not ever as long as you say so. Please, give me a chance Casey."

Instead of definitive response, she cried harder into his chest. At that moment, the rest of the Venturi/Mcdonald family returned from their dessert trip and hurried to the two people on the floor of the kitchen when Lizzie gasped and pointed at them.

"Derek! Casey! What's wrong? Are you kids alright?" Nora knelt beside her eldest daughter and wrapped an arm around her as the rest of the family gathered around them. "What happened?"

"She's just overwhelmed with university and all of that. You know, saying goodbye to her friends and family and stuff," Derek lied and it was an acceptable response to their families except for one person.

Marti.

Later that night, Derek slumped on his bed and bobbed his head rhythmically to the beat of the song blasting loudly from his headphones. He felt accomplished but also guilty—he had made Casey cry but she had not denied him this time. Maybe he was changing her mind. Next time he would try to approach the topic less abruptly and be more patient with her. He did not want to make her cry once more.

Midnight was approaching and he yawned. He removed his headphones and placed it on a precarious stack of comic books that sat on his night stand. Just as we was about to click the switch on his lamp, he heard a faint knock at his door.

"Smarti?" he said after opening the door expecting to see someone else. He gave her a wide grin that hid his disappointment.

"Smerek..." She paused hesitantly. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure thing, Smarti. Ask me anything." He ruffled her hair which relaxed her and she hugged his waist.

"Do you really love Casey?"

He felt his body become tense. He knew that one, if not all of his family members, would find out eventually. This was too soon, though. He trusted Casey enough to not tell anyone but perhaps he had put too much faith in her. He knelt down to her level and his lip twitched before he spoke.

"Of course I love her, just like you do."

"Why did Casey cry then when she came out of the closet that one time? Did you hurt her?" Her mouth formed a frown and she shook his arm back and forth fevereshly. "Smerek please tell me you didn't hurt Casey!"

He softly pressed a finger to her lips. "Not too loud Smarti, you'll wake everyone up."

She pushed it away and stomped her foot. "Smerek don't lie! You hurt her bad didn't you?"

Derek picked her up, placed her on the edge of his bed, and peaked outside his door before closing it shut. The coast was clear for the time being.

He took a place next to his sister and plastered his gaze to his lap. A shaky breath escaped his lips and he fiddled with his fingers, pondering long and hard about his next move. He would need to find out how she had become privy to what happened that night in the closet and if anyone else knew.

Marti pursed her lips and puffed her cheeks as she grew impatient.

"Smerek!"

"Do you promise not to tell anyone?" The severity in his tone reached Marti and she gave him a terse nod.


End file.
